What animal should I buy to protect my house?
I was thinking of buying a monkey and teaching it karate but I’m open to other ideas as well.
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April 18th, 2010 at 7:16 am
Get a kitten. When the burglar bends over and pets it, kick the burglar in the teeth.
April 20th, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Bats. People hate bats.
April 21st, 2010 at 3:06 am
A colt, but be careful, they kick.
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:06 am
Buy the wolf boy from Twilight, the fan girls will flock around him, thus creating an impenetrable shield around your house.
April 26th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Spiders. I know I wouldn’t bother your f*cking house if you had spiders!
April 28th, 2010 at 12:56 am
Ferrets. Angry, rabid ferrets! Or how about a parrot that says “Polly got a gun!”
Ooooh! Hamsters!!! Those little bastards bite like all hell!!
April 29th, 2010 at 9:02 am
A kangaroo! You can train it to kick some @$$. Literally.
May 1st, 2010 at 9:33 am
Get a Velociraptor. I know a guy who sells them cheap.
May 4th, 2010 at 5:06 am
i hear that gerbils can be pretty viscous…
May 4th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Buy a lion, who would mess with one of those!?
May 6th, 2010 at 6:02 am
Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. Absolutely!!
May 9th, 2010 at 9:50 am
A Dragon–but they’re more expensive
so you should just go for the pack of Velociraptors